Dare to Dream

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Dare to Dream

"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle."
- Anais Nin

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."
- Anatole France

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
- Goethe

"Dreams are the touchstones of our character."
- Henry David Thoreau

Do you hold the key to your dreams?

Bleach: Episode 263

biography

I am Cai Biyuan, 24 years old.
I am currently studying in Republic Polytechnic, for a Diploma in Game Design.
It is one of my passions in life, that drives me on.

I wanted to be a soccer player.
I wanted to be a musician.
I want to be a game designer.

I am still looking for the sign,
that will enlighten me, and tell me who I am supposed to be,
what I am supposed to achieve in this life.

bibliography

Christian Gospel Mission Kindergarten (1989-1990)
Bukit Panjang Primary School (1991-1996)
Swiss Cottage Secondary School (1997-2001)
Yishun Junior College (2002-2003)
Nanyang Technological University (2006-2008)
Republic Polytechnic (2009-Present)

favourites

Sports: Soccer, Bowling, Table Tennis, Badminton, Tennis
Soccer Club: Leicester City (English Championship 2009/10)
Hobbies: Reading novels, watching animes, programming, playing computer games
Computer games: World of Warcraft, Counter-Strike, Unreal Tournament, Final Fantasy VII-VIII-X
Anime: Bleach

Chinese singers/bands: 周杰伦 Jay Chou, 五月天 Mayday, 周华健 Emil Chau, 陶喆 David Tao, 王力宏 Wang Li-Hom,
陈晓东 Daniel Chan, 张信哲 Jeff Chang, 呂建中 Tank Lu, B.A.D., 南拳妈妈, 林俊杰 JJ Lin

English singers/bands: Chris Brown, Secondhand Serenade, Backstreet Boys, A1, Westlife, T.I, Justin Timberlake
Linkin Park, Daughtry, David Cook, Kelly Clarkson, Blue, Eminem, Avril Lavigne, 5ive, Simple Plan

Chinese songs: 01. 周杰伦 - 擱淺 (2004)                    | 06. 周杰伦 - 楓 (2005)
                          02. 呂建中 - 如果我變成回憶 (2009)  | 07. 五月天 - 倔强 (2004)
                          03. 五月天 - 超人 (2004)                    | 08. 林俊杰 - 一千年以后 (2005)
                          04. 王力宏 - 流泪手心 (1999)             | 09. 陈晓东 - 風一樣的男子 (1999)
                          05. 周华健 - 讓我歡喜讓我憂 (1991)  | 10. 陶喆 - 愛很簡單 (1997)

English songs: 01. 5ive - Closer to Me (2001)                           | 06. Daughtry - Home (2007)
                        02. A1 - Everytime (1999)                                  | 07. Backstreet Boys - Don't Wanna Lose You Now (1999)
                        03. Secondhand Serenade - Your Call (2008)  | 08. David Cook - Permanent (2008)
                        04. Simple Plan - Save You (2008)                    | 09. Backstreet Boys - Spanish Eyes (1999)
                        05. Westlife - If I Let You Go (1999)                  | 10. Avril Lavigne - I'm With You (2002)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Firstly, this is for Liqing and Kaiwen...

I knew I saw Mr Wong before last semester. I knew it knew it knew it.

Secondly, it has been a really eventful Thursday and Friday for me. It passed like a whirlwind, I don't even know

where to begin. I guess I can only start from what happened on Thursday...

Thursday

I have yet to recover from my bout of spinning headache from Tuesday and Wednesday, but I did not feel like missing the

first lesson of Digital Media Arts. After all, this is the module I was most looking forward to out of the 5 I was in this

semester. At the CCK MRT station, I almost boarded the train when Liqing SMS'd me and asked me where I was. I ended

up waiting for her for about 10 minutes, and we made our way to school together. At Woodlands, we met up with Keshia

and Susu and like a group of aunties going to the market (them of course), boarded the feeder bus to school.

On reaching school, I made my way to LR-E2 because my first meeting was to be held there. It appears that on some

lessons, we will be having a break from PBL and having tutorials instead. I like the idea for it will be a waste of time to look

up how to use Adobe products on the web when it would be faster to just teach us. Today's lesson was on how to

take photographs and project a mood through it. My group had only three members total; I don't know how no one else

wanted to end up with us. Meetings 1 and 2 were slack; meeting 1 was a tutorial on how to use the camera we loaned,

and meeting 2 was an introduction session and a brief go-through of the worksheet.

After having a quick lunch with the girls (who else ^_^), I made my way back to class and prepared to take photographs.

Alas, disaster struck. While posing for some photographs, my team mate stepped onto my glasses and broke the rims. In

that sense, I was unable to see anything without it, much more take photographs. On hindsight, I should just have taken

some crap photographs and then explain it to the facilitator, but that wouldn't have helped matters as worse was to come.

In short, we screwed up the problem statement, and we basically were under fire with no shelter to hide behind during the

presentation. In my team mates' defense, they tried their best; we wanted to break away from the traditional methods of

posing whereby the models would sit in a corner and look out into the distance, but I think in that sense we were thinking

too much, so we didn't really play around with the camera settings (plus I am a total camera dummy). My classmates didn't

help; they were criticizing every single inch of the photos my teammates took. Not constructive criticism, they were tearing

apart at the photos.

So ya, that summed up my day; shitty. A broken pair of glasses, and a terrible daily grade to come. Even the glasses

require $130 to fix; my friend was game enough to say that he will pay me back by Monday, though I will tell him then

he doesn't have to pay the full amount, because it was not completely his fault.

Friday

Today will be the day I will probably remember forever, not because of what happened in school but what happened after.

It was Entrepreneurship, a lesson I dreaded when I first saw the class schedule last week, but it didn't turn out to be too

bad. I had some great teammates: Isaac, Cassandra, Siti (again ^_^) and Halim (supposedly the 2nd time, but I missed

Wednesday's lesson). Again, like the team I had on Monday, we were disciplined, and finished the worksheet and

presentation slides early. Even the PDT was done close to perfection (no thanks to Halim's suggestion that the points for

each row should be linked). Our presentation was great, nothing like yesterday's, and I had a good feeling about today.

After class, it was off to the certificate presentation ceremony lols. It was a simple ceremony (though probably more of

a waste of time haha), and then...

I signed up for the American Maths Competition 2010.

Yes, I am a sucker for punishment haha. If the last competition wasn't torture enough, I just signed up for another round of

it ^_^. After the ceremony, I made my way to Lot 1 to have dinner! All the way throughout, I was SMS'ing Liqing, who was

having buffet at Sakae Sushi above me! haha. This sis is good de lor, ask her to da bao, she ask me wait long long.

On the way home, I didn't expect what was to come. At my block while waiting for the lift, I suddenly heard a voice call

out, presumably to me. I turned and saw a Malay lady. She said:

"Excuse me, I think an uncle over there needs your help."

I was surprised. My help? As I was making my way to the other end of the void deck, she told me an old uncle was lying

on the floor and bleeding profusely. When I got to the uncle, I was stunned. He was lying in his own pool of blood, on the

floor of the void deck. I immediately called for the ambulance, put my bag on the floor, and tried to help the uncle. All these

years I spent in school, nothing prepared me for this.

I asked the uncle if he was feeling okay. He told me to lift him up in a sitting position (presumably because he wants to

wipe the blood off his face). I went to do it, but then my neighbour ah-ma advised me not to, in case I aggravate any

injuries. I then thought: if he was awake enough to ask me to lift him up, then I suppose he didn't have any serious head

injuries, so the chance of me hurting him further is low. On that, I lifted him up, and moved him gently (he moved himself a

bit too) to a nearby wall, and sat him up. At that point, we could see his injuries: a deep cut at his eyebrow and cuts on

his right arm. I immediately took out my tissue and asked him to hold it at his eyebrow cut. Again, on hindsight, since he had

cuts on his right arm, I shouldn't have asked him to do it but someone else, but since he didn't complain of any serious pain

on his arm, I guess it was alright.

By that time, a considerable crowd had gathered, and thankfully, a very helpful auntie who could converse in Hokkien

and English arrived. She managed to get the phone number of the uncle's home and called an immediate family member

to come down to accompany the uncle. We asked the uncle how he fell and injured himself, but he said he didn't know

or remember. We told him an ambulance was coming, and in the meantime, we kept pressing tissue paper on the cuts

and hoped to stop the bleeding, because he has lost a lot of blood. The auntie then went up presumably to her home to

get some warm water for him to drink.

Just before the auntie returned with the drink, the uncle's son came. He explained to us that the uncle has been feeling

giddy since yesterday, but he insisted on coming down for a walk, and then this happens. He looks lost as well, I guess I

would too if I saw my father in this state as well. Luckily, most of the bleeding has almost stopped by then, and the auntie

came back with the drink. Not long after, the medics came and took over. The main medic was a female, and she was

professional both in the way she did the bandages and the way she talked to the uncle. The bandages brought back

memories of the days I was learning First Aid while with the Boys' Brigade in secondary school. After applying the

necessary bandages, he was carried onto a wheelchair and loaded to the ambulance. The son thanked me for helping his

dad before leaving on the ambulance. To be fair, I wasn't the only one helping, the auntie was very helpful too, as well as

a Malay guy who assisted.

After the whole incident was over, I could not believe what I had just done. All this while, I had been most afraid of

blood. I rarely watched Discovery Channel or shows where they cut people up (my father is the main culprit, tuning in to

those shows EVERYTIME we are eating). And for me to do what I did, I cannot explain. I guess it's just the helpful side of

me; I cannot just stand by and do nothing while this uncle lies bleeding.

I may forget the Australian Maths Competition certificates I have gotten. I may forget the beautiful goals I have scored in

my soccer 'career'. I may forget the Boys' Brigade where I was once the Company Sergeant Major (CSM), the head of

the company. I may forget World of Warcraft which I have achieved almost everything attainable in game.

But today, this will be one memory I will never forget.

it's 9:02 PM now

-----------------------------------------------------------

Songs

This section is dedicated to songs I've written, good or bad.
They are probably going to be 'emo' songs, because I like to write songs about my feelings.

I Don't Stand A Chance

I've never been the mainstream guy
Never been the one who stands out, from the crowd
I've never been the fall-back guy
Never been the one who makes you laugh, when you cry

I stand by your side and watch your every move
So I can be there when you fall down

I only wanna see you smile
Never wanna see the sky come down, in your world
I only wanna hear you laugh
Never wanna hear the thunderstorm, in your dream

It hurts me so much but I've to hide it from you
I hope you will forgive me, my dear

(chorus)
I know I don't stand a chance with you in this life
Wooooooo Woooooooo
I know it's hard but I still want you in my life
Wooooooo Woooooooo

It's falling apart, I'm falling deeper
Into the never-ending pit of love
It's one step too far, I cannot climb up
Now there's no way back for me, can't look back, oh no

(chorus)
I know I don't stand a chance with you in this life
Wooooooo Woooooooo
I know it's hard but I still want you in my life
Wooooooo Woooooooo

I know I should stop thinking of you here and now
Wooooooo Woooooooo
I know it's hard but I just can't live without you
Wooooooo Woooooooo

I know I don't stand a chance with you in this life
Wooooooo Woooooooo
I know it's hard but I still want you in my life
Wooooooo Woooooooo

Morality & Mortality

They always say that live and let live is the way to go (mm mm)
Yet why do countless people continue to die in the war
The blood and the tears fill the streets up with despair and pain (oh no)
We're stretched out so thin, we can't give aid to the truly needy (yea)

Why won't we stop taking the lives of the innocent?
Why can't we take a step back and breathe?

(chorus)
Draw from the past, learn from them
We don't have to make the same mistakes again
Time will tell, if we've won
History will hopefully not repeat itself

It's obvious to us that the rich are the ones getting richer (how does that work?)
But aren't the ones that needed help are the poor and the homeless
The filth and the stench fill their homes up with disease and pain (oh my)
They're stretched out so thin, they can barely make ends meet to stay alive

Why won't we start saving the lives of the innocent?
Why can't we take a step back and breathe?

(chorus)
Draw from the past, learn from them
We don't have to make the same mistakes again
Time will tell, if we've won
History will hopefully not repeat itself

Draw from the past, learn from them
We don't have to make the same mistakes again
Time will tell, if we've won
History will hopefully not repeat itself

Your Face

It's 8am, I just woke up
I start to think a lot about you
And I don't know if I could face
The day before me, without you here

I need a moment before I can start to move on

(chorus)
It is hard for me to show
Any emotions in front of you
So I keep them in my heart
And no one will ever know

Know how far I have fallen
Into a never-ending abyss
If I can ever climb up
All I can see is your face

It's past midnight, I lie in bed
I start to think about our past
And I don't know if I could stand
Another minute, without your love

I need to see you right now so I can stop this pain

(chorus)
It is hard for me to show
Any emotions in front of you
So I keep them deep inside
And no one will ever know

Know how far I have fallen
Into a never-ending daydream
If I can ever wake up
all i can see is your face
Your face, your face

I need to tell you how much you really mean to me, but

(chorus)
It is hard for me to show
Any emotions in front of you
So I keep them deep inside
And no one will ever know

Know how far I have fallen
Into a never-ending daydream
If I can ever wake up
All I can see is your face
Your face, your face

I wanna see your face
your face, your face

I will remember your face

Endless Time

Dance in the snow, flying in the wind
You are as free as petals in the air
Drawn to your smile, in love with your scent
I want to be with you to the end of time

(chorus)
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Can I tell you that I love you?
Oh my love, oh my love
Will you tell me you love me too?

~~ Interlude ~~

Bask in the sun, taking in the breeze
You are as calm as palm trees by the sea
Drawn to your gaze, in love with your touch
I hope you will be there til the end of time

(chorus)
Oh my dear, oh my dear
Can I tell you that I miss you?
Oh my love, oh my love
Will you tell me you miss me too?

Oh my dear, oh my dear
Can I tell you that I need you?
Oh my love, oh my love
Will you tell me you need me too?

Lying on the beach, looking at the stars
You were beside me, still as beautiful
I hold your hand, look into your eyes
Say I'll be with you til the end of time

Run and Hide

Baby you should take a look around
There's so many things for you to see
Don't run and hide

Baby you have many friends who care
Who will stop the time to make it right
Please come back home

(chorus)
And you've been hurting in all this time
Broken deep inside
But now is the time for you to show
I know you've come a long way since
You've been down and out
But now you're on the road again

Baby I don't care where you have been
I don't know how you may feel
Don't run and hide

Baby we can stop this happening
Only if you will let us know
Let us help you

(chorus)
And you've been hurting in all this time
Broken deep inside
But now is the time for you to show
I know you've come a long way since
You've been down and out
But now you're on the road again

Oh please God, allow me to find her soon
Let me lend her a helping hand
So she can stop

(chorus)
And she's been hurting in all this time
Broken deep inside
But now is the time for her to show
I know she's come a long way since
She's been down and out
But now she is on the road again

Don't run and hide
Don't run and hide

August Rain

When I was on the verge on breaking down
You were the only one who's on my side
You showed me love and helped to calm me down
I never thanked you for what you have done

The rain was coming down
You had to go back home
And now I have to face this world alone
Tell me

(chorus)
Why did you have to leave me here
Why won't you stay and be with me
Love is a never-ending road
And now I have to walk alone

I never told you I loved you
How I regret not doing so
As I looked up into the sky
That august rain is all that I see

This time last year I was still much alive
So glad and thankful that I still had you
We held on tight and hummed our favorite songs
Talked about how we were meant to be

The rain was coming down
You had to go back home
And now I have to face this world alone
Tell me

(chorus)
Why did you have to leave me here
Why won't you stay and be with me
Love is a never-ending road
And now I have to walk alone

I never told you I loved you
How I regret not doing so
As I looked up into the sky
That august rain is all that I see

That august rain is all that I see

The One

I had a dream last night
I was at the beach, stare into the sea
I saw a girl like you
Who came up to me and held out her hand

And then I ran away (and then I ran away)
And now I wish I could turn back

(chorus)
I was afraid I'm not the one
Who you belong to
I want to be the one you see
The one you kiss
Tonight

I saw you in the class
You were looking out of the window
You seemed to be in pain
Like you've been hurt so bad you stopped living

I want to talk to you (I want to talk to you)
But then I couldn't find my voice

(chorus)
I was afraid I'm not the one
Who you belong to
I want to be the one you see
The one you kiss
Today

I hope to be with you (I hope to be with you)
I guess I'll never see that day

(chorus)
I was afraid I'm not the one
Who you belong to
I want to be the one you see
The one you kiss
Right now